graham’s birth story
I never could’ve imagined what Graham’s birth would end up being like. I’ll be honest, I was scared. Even though I would consider Rory’s birth a good experience overall, it was long. Labor was long, pushing was long. I remember feeling so exhausted because I ended up giving birth after laboring all night and I was scared of the same thing happening again. I was also scared of the pushing phase, during which I panicked the first time around. A baby coming out of you feels like…..a BABY COMING OUT OF YOU, so I was a little freaked out by it to say the least. You can read Rory’s birth story here.
Graham was 11 days late. Possibly the longest 11 days of my life. As I shared on social media, I was doing ALL THE THINGS to prepare for the birth - dates, red raspberry leaf tea, evening primrose oil, homeopathics, exercises, hypnobabies - it was exhausting and I couldn’t believe this pregnancy was actually longer than my first. I thought for sure I would go earlier the second time around.
On Wednesday, September 16, I woke up with no signs of going into labor. The day before I had made a “natural induction plan” for the upcoming weekend that involved a massage appointment and herbal protocol in the event that I didn’t have the baby before then. Even though I didn’t feel like I was going to have a baby that day, I felt mentally more at ease than I had in a week (having a plan will do that for a Virgo :).
Fast forward to around 5:30 pm that evening, I listened to a Hypnobabies track as part of my maintenance schedule. Towards the end of the hypnosis session, I had my first contraction. For the rest of the evening, I continued to have very mild contractions about every 10 - 15 minutes. It definitely felt more “real” than the prodromal labor contractions I had been having in the weeks leading up to this, but I was skeptical and didn’t want to get my hopes up. I continued to go about my evening, made dinner and went for a walk with Pat and Rory. Contractions remained the same, but didn’t go away either, so I decided to have my mom pick up Rory to sleep at her house just in case something happened. At this point, I still wasn’t convinced I was having a baby that night! I actually said to my mom, “I hope you won’t be mad if this is just a sleepover and there is no birth.” Haha! Due to the stress of deciding whether to have my mom pick up Rory and Rory being in a wacky, difficult mood, my contractions went away all together from about 7:30 - 9 pm. Contractions returned when Rory left, but still far apart and not at all intense. I had texted my midwives and doula at this point to let them know what was going on, but we basically left it at “things will probably happen soon, maybe tonight.”
I tried to sleep, but I was too excited and anxious to do so. I did another hypnosis track for early labor. I asked Pat to time contractions because I didn’t want to become a slave to timing them like I did during my last birth (this had just stressed me out). They continued to be mild and about 15 minutes apart over the next couple hours.
Then at around midnight I had my first intense contraction. And they kept coming. I could no longer lay down during them and I started to moan through them as well. At around 12:20 am, Pat told me that they were 4 minutes apart and lasting for over a minute. It got very intense very quickly so we texted my doula and midwives to tell them to come over as soon as they could. I basically went from early labor to transition in a matter of minutes. Once it got real, it got real FAST.
Jenn, my doula, showed up around 12:45. She was perfect. She swooped in and knew exactly how to help me manage. I hadn’t been able to get out of the all fours position on my bed and she helped me move around and did counter pressure and hip squeezes during the waves. When she came, Pat was able to pay more attention to filling up the pool and get things ready for the birth.
A little after 1:00, Jenn asked me if I had peed in a while and I said no, so she suggested we move to the bathroom. I felt comfortable laboring on the toilet (a little too comfortable!) so we stayed there. I heard the midwives come up the stairs and go into my bedroom to start setting up (this was around 1:10).
Suddenly, I had another contraction and couldn’t help but bear down. I thought I could feel the head start to come out, and I yelled “poop!” because I was at a loss of what else to say. I knew it was the head, but because a huge poop is what it feels like, it was all I could say at the moment. I reached down and confirmed that it was indeed his head coming out! At this point, I couldn’t physically move out of the bathroom and the pool wasn’t yet filled anyway, so we stayed. Five of us were packed in my tiny bathroom while I gave birth!
I don’t quite remember details - it was very much an out of body experience. When he started to come out I started to panic a little, but quickly talked myself out of it. I’m so happy I was able to do this. My birth team encouraged me to stand so he didn’t fall in the toilet (ha!), so they helped me stand up. I was leaning on Jenn (I just remember squeezing her arm REALLY hard haha) and Graham Connors Magee came out in about five minutes, at 1:21am, which was just 10 minutes after the midwives arrived! I think it took two contractions for him to come out and I don’t remember actually pushing - I really just let my body take over. When he came out, I bent over and caught him myself and then sat back down on the toilet. I was hoping that I would catch him and am so glad I did! It felt so powerful. Once I sat down, I couldn’t stop laughing! I was in shock that 1) everything happened so quickly and 2) I gave birth inches away from my toilet!
I love giving birth at home for many reasons, but I especially love the time after the baby comes. Everything just feels so relaxed. I eventually made my way back to my bed, where I birthed my placenta (which I’m pretty sure was worse than giving birth to the baby) and Pat cut the umbilical cord, which had stayed attached for almost an hour. After catching Graham, I didn’t let go of him until about 2 hours later when they measured and weighed him. While I nursed the baby for the first time, Jenn made me a placenta smoothie, Michele (one of the midwives) looked up Graham’s birth chart (Virgo sun, Virgo moon, Cancer rising in case you’re wondering!), and we talked and laughed about the craziness that had just taken place. I felt so loved and taken care of. Home birth really is such a special experience.
Even though I had thought all the prep I had been doing was worthless, it was most definitely WORTH IT. Once Graham decided to make his appearance, it was quick and easy and I had zero tearing. Eat your dates and drink your tea!
I’ve also mentioned Hypnobabies a few times so I want to acknowledge that here. For anyone who is familiar, I used the finger drop technique, and the “release” and “peace” word cues during every contraction. I listened to a few hypnosis tracks during early labor, but didn’t really get a chance during active labor and pushing because it all happened too fast. I attribute hypnosis to my ability to stay calm and manage pain throughout the entire experience. I highly recommend Hypnobabies - it works!
My birth team:
Gaia Midwives - I have never received better care and I could gush about them all day.
The Village Sprout - I was Jenn’s last doula client, which is incredibly sad because she’s the best and I’m not sure what I would’ve done without her, but check out her non-profit, Birth & Beyond Resources, for all your prenatal, birth and postpartum needs.
Three weeks later, we are all doing really well. I recovered quickly, Graham is perfect, and Rory is adjusting well to life as a big brother :)
